He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
