you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
