if i died would you start the facebook group?
I cut my penus on the lid.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
