Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
