Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
last night I used snow as a chaser
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