this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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