Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
