used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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