I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
