I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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