judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
