Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
