I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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