And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
