PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
