I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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