How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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