I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
