just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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