you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
