i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
