somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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