is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
