You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize