Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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