This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
