i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
