if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
