we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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