Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize