Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
