Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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