your parents love me but you hate me
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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