Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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