there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
