East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
