So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
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