I think I am morally bankrupt
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
