Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize