I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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