put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
