I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
