He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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