Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
