Texts From Last Night

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  (361): View more from Texas

  What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?

  (1-361): View more from Texas

  These are the tickets we got last night.

  (361): View more from Texas

  Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?

  (1-361): View more from Texas

  Yes...yes you did.

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  (361): What are these yellow papers in the kitchen? (1-361): These are the tickets we got last night. (361): Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear? (1-361): Yes...yes you did. http://tfl.nu/myva
  Replies (25) Good night (4461) Bad night (766)
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  (347): View more from New York

  I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.

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  (347): I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth. http://tfl.nu/tax7
  Replies (70) Good night (19582) Bad night (1366)
• Favorite

  (445): View more from Pennsylvania

  We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off

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  (445): We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off http://tfl.nu/9bxu
  Replies (53) Good night (15826) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer

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  (860): I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer http://tfl.nu/pfui
  Replies (16) Good night (5731) Bad night (1140)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that

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  (214): Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that http://tfl.nu/hzhm
  Replies (33) Good night (4033) Bad night (1335)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?

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  (516): I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you? http://tfl.nu/jwce
  Replies (6) Good night (2840) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.

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  (712): Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore. http://tfl.nu/hjm6
  Replies (5) Good night (911) Bad night (3440)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE

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  (902): OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE http://tfl.nu/77eb
  Replies (7) Good night (782) Bad night (2774)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.

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  (905): Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights. http://tfl.nu/cnu2
  Replies (4) Good night (2477) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.

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  (516): The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me. http://tfl.nu/o6eb
  Replies (6) Good night (2896) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window

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  (585): Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window http://tfl.nu/p9te
  Replies (4) Good night (703) Bad night (929)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.

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  (919): I have a cut on my head from a tambourine. http://tfl.nu/wa5x
  Replies (3) Good night (1531) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see

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  (512): I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see http://tfl.nu/ic6l
  Replies (6) Good night (944) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."

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  (212): That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood." http://tfl.nu/okr0
  Replies (1) Good night (1074) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I was emotionally compromised.

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  (615): Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really? (423): I was emotionally compromised. http://tfl.nu/irpq
  Replies (1) Good night (817) Bad night (490)

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