Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude