we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
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I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
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Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look