OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.