Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher

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  (612): the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher http://tfl.nu/eecw
  Replies (26) Good night (1013) Bad night (5183)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...

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  (443): ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads... http://tfl.nu/avzw
  Replies (38) Good night (881) Bad night (14833)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room

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  (267): You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room http://tfl.nu/2vn0
  Replies (12) Good night (4338) Bad night (1075)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.

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  (732): there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts. http://tfl.nu/wlt6
  Replies (48) Good night (7690) Bad night (2137)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.

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  (732): I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink. http://tfl.nu/afd8
  Replies (4) Good night (2708) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality

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  (708): I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality http://tfl.nu/1jam
  Replies (6) Good night (1395) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.

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  (843): God I feel like the rain man of hangovers. http://tfl.nu/3opn
  Replies (3) Good night (852) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...

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  (248): Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower... http://tfl.nu/43yc
  Replies (16) Good night (540) Bad night (2150)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too

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  (317): I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too http://tfl.nu/ini4
  Replies (11) Good night (594) Bad night (1343)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.

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  (775): Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American. http://tfl.nu/e4rx
  Replies (13) Good night (3687) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"

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  (432): dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds" http://tfl.nu/wwid
  Replies (14) Good night (799) Bad night (1849)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?

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  (614): Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me? http://tfl.nu/bgzy
  Replies (9) Good night (579) Bad night (1410)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole

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  (201): New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole http://tfl.nu/gxas
  Replies (4) Good night (723) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand

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  (832): I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand http://tfl.nu/owk1
  Replies (2) Good night (435) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower

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  (610): If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower http://tfl.nu/d9ft
  Replies (0) Good night (391) Bad night (245)

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