do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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