im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
