Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize