how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
