totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
