I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
