She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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