I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
