Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize