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jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
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