It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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