I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
They are going to name an STD after you.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
