Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Can you bring me the toilet please
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize