All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
