omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I wish i was in the wii world.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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