After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I checked into jail on foursquare
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Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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