70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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