Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
